Geopolitical Identification Battle; Librarian Demands a Rematch!
A librarian at the Seymour library had heard about a game on the Internet that a guy played with friends. The game doesn't have a name but it basically plays like this; you sit down for five minutes and whoever can name the most US states wins. The librarian is no geopolitical wizard but he figured that he could beat a middle school student in such a game.
Reporter: Were you Nervous?
Michael B.: I thought that he was going to know a lot. Since he challenged me I thought that he would be prepared and know his states.
The librarian challenged home school student Michael B. when his family made their weekly visit to Storytime at Seymour. His words were not as strong as Ivan Drago in Rocky IV but the librarian made sure to let Michael B. know that next week Michael B. would be in trouble.
Reporter: What do you have in store for Michael B
Librarian: I'm going to wipe up the carpet with Michael B. He won't know the difference between the United States and Mars after I'm done schooling him on his states.
The day of the match came. It was a nice spring day. A perfect day for a Geopolitical Identification Battle. There was a charge in Alger Heights. Everyone knew (or should of known) that a battle of wills was to be waged that day.
After Storytime amongst a milling crowd of over 13 Mom's and 30 toddlers the two gladiators meet. There was no timekeeper so Michael B's sisters were drafted into the job. The librarian vehemently protested having the sisters keep time but the judges said that keeping time was a clerical issue that would not taint the outcome of the match.
Librarian: There were a lot of things that didn't go my way. If...
As the Geopolitical Identification Battle began it was clear that one of the challengers was in trouble. Alabama, Alaska, Arizona were all confidently penned by the home schooled Hercules in a flash of intellect and might. Arkansas, California, Colorado all penned in the blink of a hummingbirds wing by the soon to be champ Michael B. Meanwhile, the librarian had only a few states written down. Only Michigan, Florida, and Alabama; all states that he lived in. As he glanced at the speed of the young prodigy, the librarian knew he was in trouble and immediately started to sweat. The two timekeeping sisters twittered and laughed at the moisture weeping from the librarian's brow. Like a well oiled machine Michael B's hand moved across the page. West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming. Michael B was done with about a minute while the librarian looked at the spines of books for hints.
"Time!" said Anna B. as she threw her hands up in the air like the most professional of timekeepers. It was done. What Seymour Library had just been witness to was one of the most lopsided victories in the history of competition. Michael B. had totally destroyed the librarian. The end result was 30 to 50. Michael B. had all his states in alphabetical order in nice neat rows while the Librarian had his states scribbled haphazardly all over his crumpled and wet paper.
Librarian: I want a rematch he knew a song that helped him know all the states. Michael B. is smart but no way does he have all his states memorized in alphabetical order. Use of his song is bending if not breaking the rules. I want a rematch
After a brief conference the judges deemed that Michael B. was well within the rules and commended him on his obvious preparation.
Reporter: How did you prepare?
Michael B.: Well I know my states but I looked them over for about five minutes before the actual competition. Also through my Mother's teachings I was well prepared for the event.
Reporter: Now that you're the champion of the Geopolitical Identification Battle will you give him a rematch?
Michael B.: No.
